2010-01-01 03:36:33 - Year Ended. #365

I shot the photo on time and have taken my time to write about my final day of 2009. So many people in so many places have called this the worst year ever. Those same people had the same experience with 2008, dubbed 2KH8, 2 K Hate. For me it was 2 K Great and when I look back I had a 2 K Shine. So much great stuff happened for me this year. If you have followed this site you have gone through it with me.

I think some people speak the truth when they talk about 2009 dragging them down. Over all, it wasn't that a great year for many. Over the last few weeks I have really felt a pull by the 09 to make sure I look back on it and shutter. I tried so hard to leave a bad taste in my mouth. Not really sure what I did, but I am getting payback or some sort of reminder for something. It has truly been a test of my patience and of just me over all. I have spent some time trying to figure it out and I am not sure.

There is only one thing that really comes to mind. Cue the fade back. I spent my Christmas driving across the frozen Texas tundra with my sister and cousin to get to my Grandmothers birthday in Lubbock, the city of my birth. I have not really been around my mom's side of the family since we moved to Oregon in 1988. I was 10 when we moved and the visits back to Texas and contact with anyone besides my Grandma was very rare.

Fast forward 21 years and I enter the middle of a celebration for my grandma where my sister, cousin and I instantly become guests of honor. My mom has been hyping us up to all the family and instantly there is a room full of people that know us more than the FBI and we have no idea who they are. I said some stuff about knowing all the family I needed to know to my mom and was a real ass. Shit I wouldn't have said if we were eased into the situation and not put out there like show ponies. There were also a few instances of my mom being rightfully down that a lot of people that had raised her we now old and I was an ass and was just like, that's what happens to people. I think since my grandfathers death and the loss of friends over the years I have grown quite cold to the idea of death. It is something I have just accepted since I was real young, we all die and can't do anything about it. Just have to live life and have no regrets.

The few days back were real good. I instantly realized how lucky it was I had left that place and I have no idea who or what I would have become had I stayed. On the way home I just wanted to get back. I had been on the road for what seemed like several weeks and I had been sick damn near that whole time. My car goes boom and I do my thing to figure out a solution for us.

Most options to get us into town went no where. My mom gets on the phone and in no time family I have never met or have not seen in 30 years steps up to help. Instand in your face, "La Familia" moment. I still remember the I told you so look in my mom's face, classic. I love that woman. We end up having a great night catching up despite all the shit I am dealing with in my head.

I was genuinely stoked to see this part of my family. These were the people I remembered and wished I had never lost contact with. The best part, the moment I knew these were my kind of people, my blood, is when we all sat down around the kitchen table and picked up like we had been over last weekend. It was really great and I know even better for my mom. That is when I sunk in, even the most independent people need family in the end and I am thankful for that.

It is that realization that helped my through all the shit I have been dealing with for the last few weeks. I have not been tested like this in a long time and every time I am thankful. No FML bullshit. I love my life and the challenges with what makes us stronger, better people. When I look back on this year from where I started to where I am now, I know I have matured a lot. Well in some ways.

I look back and laugh that I picked an interesting year to chronicle my "life." I had no idea where this year would lead me and the amount of changes I would see. I think if I had sat down 365 days ago and guessed where I would be there is no way I would have said still working my same job in a better position in an amazing city. I also would not have believed that their is a chance I may never return to live in the North West.

What did I do on my last day of 2009? I slept in a bit, spent the day relaxing and caught public transportation or the party bus as we called it downtown and hung out with some friends at my usual Thursday night spot. Pretty funny that the scene on 6th way completely tame compared to how it is usually is. I had a great time, but there have certainly been better parties downtown. I hope it fixes it's self by Saturday.

The above photo is of Russ and I as we made our way downtown on the bus. The scene was crazy by the time we hopped off on 6th street.

bdubblevision was here.

posted by pdxbmx @ 11:59 PM